zoe

Seven years ago, Jon and I went to a breeder specifically looking for a black male puppy. Somehow, by the end of the visit, it was very clear that the sassy yellow runt was going to be the one coming home with us. Over the years, Zoe has been almost everywhere with us, traveling all over New England, swimming in lakes, rivers, oceans and even swimming pools :) She has been the very best and loyal friend to us all- especially to Oliver, with whom she shared an extra special bond.

Six days ago, after a few weeks of declining health, she was diagnosed with lymphoma. We were able to take her home and absolutely shower her with love and spoil her like we never have before. She was able to run around the yard with her best friend Lulu, she got to play with Ollie and the garden hose, and she got some serious loving from all of us.

Last night, Jon and I carried her into the vet where she died in our arms. It was fucking brutal. I'm sorry for the language... but it was fucking. brutal. There's no other way to describe what the experience was like. But still, I'm thankful that we were able to be there, to hold her and talk to her and pet her. There was a beauty in that: holding the sweet little girl that we fell so head-over-heels in love with those seven years ago while she fell asleep and ended her suffering.

Thank you to everyone who has helped out these past few weeks, especially Frank and Linda. And to my brother and sister who sent and suggested books to read to our kids. (Haven't been able to get through Dog Heaven on my own without crumpling yet, but I'm sure it will help us all once I can.)

Today my heart is broken. I imagine it will be for quite some time as we adjust to life without our Zoe-girl.

lately

The transition from our slightly chaotic, routine-free summer over to the structured school year has gone  over shockingly well. I was really worried after our extremely relaxed summer how long it would take them to adapt to the early dinner and set bedtime and the full day of structure... But it urns out, it all just fell into place!

The kids are both loving school, which-more than anything- has been the biggest relief to me considering all the stress I had over it the past few months. (Naturally, I got a call from Peyton's school two hours into the first day that she had tried to bite another child... But since then, it's been smiley face notes coming home! phew!)

We've been trying to have extra fun over the weekends, since we are together less often as a family  these days. Of course, that means starting it out right with Banan-cakes ...

This past Saturday, Peyton and I had a birthday party to go to so Ollie and Jon had a Guy Day for themselves. They went to watch some mud pit racing and to check out a Monster Truck, and after they went to the UCONN game. Ollie is OB-SESSED with football, so taking him to that game only fueled his love. When I asked how his day was, Ollie told me: "It was the best day eva had." So...

On Sunday, my friend Meg and I took the kids to the Coventry Farmer's Market. It was pretty spectacular, as far as farmer's markets go! Fresh produce, fiber arts and food trucks all together? Perfection. Plus, there was this adorable brother-sister Scottish Fiddle band that was really great and the kids had a lot of fun dancing to the music.

I'm gonna be honest here, though. While it's true that the transition into school has gone well and we have been having lots of fun, behavior around here has been a challenge, to say the least. I don't know if its because they are so tied down at their desks for so many hours a week and they just need freedom from rules or what... But I feel like I've been repeating myself over and over and they both just look at me and laugh- or worse, just ignore me- which, as you can imagine, gets frustrating. So... I was the mom at the beautiful, wholesome farmer's market raising her voice half the time. And, the mom who I'm sure all the neighbors hear yelling, "I expect you to listen the first time I ask!" through the woods. And having two so close in age is tough because they egg each other on. I wished and hoped for them to be buddies and they finally are...But that means I have a team against me, now. Sometimes leaving the house with the two of them requires a lot of mental preparation and pep-talking.

I'm sure we can get through it, as we have every other phase. But in the meantime, if you happen to see me out in town and I look frazzled, you'll know why. I certainly don't want to whine and complain here, and I don't intend to... but I know I post a lot of our fun adventures and good times, and I just want to say that we have rough patches too. Someday I'll post of pictures of my little cherubs wrestling/ putting their feet in each others' faces/ getting their arm too close to the others' car seat/ invading the others' general space etc, etc... Because that's how you really show you love your sibling, isn't it? (I know that's how I did!)

Anyway, less complaining in my next post! 

Be well, Friends!

finally fall

Sure it's been a thousand degrees out...but can't you just feel Fall in the air? The Honeycrisp apples are ripe (the only apples worth eating, if you want my opinion, with the possible exception of McCoun),  the air has that lovely smell of bus diesel, the PSL is back at Starbucks, and it's officially fair and football season.

Now that Summer is over and we are home on the weekends, we can finally get back into our normal routines. Specifically, pancake Sundays (I've been using this recipe for the past year and they are the best).

The kids are also super excited about the toys that they haven't been able to play with for a couple of months, which is kind of awesome. I love listening to their imaginary play from the other room.... And I love listening to Ollie rock along with the Rascal Flatts :)

Ollie: Mommy, you build a track fo' me?

Me: Of course! 

I spend 15 minutes building a very elaborate train track, which Ollie destroys after 30 seconds of driving his train on it...

Me: Oll...? Wha...?

Ollie: Oh, ah... Sorry, Boss.

On Sunday we took the kids to the Hebron Harvest Fair with Jon's parents. We have kind of a one-and-done policy with the Fall fairs. Obviously, the Big E is the fair to attend... but Hebron is close and manageable, so that was the one we picked for this year. The kids had their own individual priorities, (Ollie wanted to  get some kettle corn and play games, and Peyton needed pet some animals and "to get some cotton candy in my tummy now") so we took the divide and conquer approach. Fortunately, Jon brought his camera too so we have pictures of both of the kids!

Nascar dreaming

A cow named Milkshake

A lift from Papa

Happiest little girl in the world

Now that we got the fair out of the way we can focus on other Fall activities, like hiking, apple picking, and football. (Jon's in a Fantasy Football League this year, so it's taken on a whole new level of importance around here.) 

I hope you all are enjoying Fall as much as we are!!!