32 weeks

I'm gonna be honest: Pregnancy is not my favorite.

Don't get me wrong, it's not lost on me how incredibly lucky I am to be able to get pregnant and be pregnant. It's truly what gets me through the 9 months... and how I've been able to do it two times after my first pregnancy.

But the actual day-to-day of being pregnant? Not my favorite. I actually look forward to the sleepless nights with a newborn: Cake. As long as I'm not nauseous 24 hours a day and completely uncomfortable and darn near immobile with sciatica, I can handle it. Ugh, but the nausea! I cannot wait for that to be over. (Also, putting on my shoes without the symphony of grunts and heavy breathing will be a major self-confidence booster, too, I think.)

Still, I'm attempting to if not enjoy then at least appreciate this pregnancy. Because it's my last. I can remember being pregnant with Peyton, I always had this feeling that it was not the end (and clearly it was not)... But this time I know: This is the baby that will complete our family. The one that will tie it up tight in a bow. We are soon to be a family of five and that's how we will remain into the future.

And so, because of that, (and because I really do experience a maternal amnesia once it's all said and done) I already am experiencing a little nostalgia. I know that once this baby starts to grow (walk and talk and go to school- it happens fast, I know!),  I will mourn the fact that I won't get to be pregnant ever again. I will miss the quiet early mornings in bed when I can truly focus and feel this little one rolling around inside, the little jabs and kicks and hiccups (the newest thing- adorable!). Because you don't remember the tough parts, not really. All you remember is what came out of it all.

I haven't had any maternity photos taken with any of my pregnancies. I know this is terrible, but I don't feel that glow that other women tend to talk about. Actually, my body feels alien to me. There are still mornings when I pass by the mirror  and do a complete double take. My face has swollen and distorted to a place where I hope it can go back!

But the other morning, the early light was so beautiful. I set up the tripod and the self timer and took a few pictures, just so I have at least one record of my being pregnant over these past 6 years. The best part was when Ollie tiptoed downstairs and asked, "What you doin' Mom?" and gave me a hug at just the right time.

In just about 8 weeks, I'll be on the other side of this. All my aches and pains and complaining will be in the past (I mean, hopefully!) and I'll just have this beautiful new life. A brother or sister for Peyton and Oliver.

That's what makes it all worth it. And that's my favorite.